Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I Want What I Want When I Want It (Don't you?!)

My children have contracted a contagious disease.  This yucky affliction seems to be characterized by greed and fueled by jealousy.  I hate to admit it, it's embarrassing, but my kids have caught a serious case of "The Gimmies".  (Give this and give me that!)
I know, it's common knowledge, today's children have a sense of entitlement.  Wants and needs are one in the same.  They tend to believe that they have a right to it all.  But MINE?!  They're good kids!  How the hell did this happen?  Most people have a tendency to blame US, the parents.  We overcompensate, we accommodate, we feel guilty so we SAY YES!  I agree, but only slightly!  Parenting is HARD!!!  Although I've set clearly-defined boundaries, my kids still thirst for STUFF.  Just yesterday, my three year old walked into a store and announced to all "Mommy, I gonna buy lots and lots of tings".  WHAT???
I'm consistently and desperately trying to teach them that you simply CAN NOT have everything you want.  Aren't they listening?!  Mommy doesn't ALWAYS get everything she wants!  (I don't. Really!)
I frown upon materialism, but  (here it comes)  I'll be damned if MY child is the only kid on the playground without a... a... a whatever!  It would break my heart.  I want them to be happy!  I get that money doesn't grow on trees ,yet I often pretend it does.  I do make them wait, (practicing patience=GOOD, instant gratification=BAD) but more often than not, in the end, they kinda do get what they want.  (A cell phone for the 11 year old, designer jeans, a DSI... these are needs right?!)  What?!  They're not?!  Are you sure?!  
Now truthfully,  I myself have been dealing with this "entitlement issue" for as long as I can remember.  (SHOCKER I know!)  It's not that I think the world owes me, I absolutely don't think that.  It's just that I want what I want when I want it.  Period.   Oh, and I SO don't do well when I'm "denied"!  Don't get me wrong, I can totally go "without".  I'm not a princess.  But... say no to me and I just can't help feeling well... entitled.  I can't help it!  Not getting what I want pisses me off!  But I deal, cuz I'm a grownup.  No tantrums.  (Wipe that "yeah right" look off your face!!!)
As for my beautiful offspring, I hope for a antidote sooner rather that later!  But mostly, I hope my teachings stick. 
I welcome your thoughts, comments and critics!  Share your parenting tips or stories about your kids ( or your own) sense of entitlement.  Maybe together, we can find a cure!  (Wink!)


MaryRC said...

My kids were wearing abercrombie before they knew what it was. I was the girl who didn't have guess jeans back in my day. Now that my kids have caught on they just expect it. My 9 year old thinks she needs a cell phone. I'm the one who has to restrain from the purchase.

Genevieve said...

My hub wouldn't let C have a cell. (I begged on her behalf for 2 years.) Poor C, she's such a good girl... It broke my heart to see her friends talking and texting... So this passed Christmas, I just DID IT. He was pissed, but I HAD TO make it happen for her.

James lang said...

It's okay to want things, but when you actually are gifted them for no appearrent reason is when I could see a problem arise.

My friends that are constantly given things will "grow out" or "grow bored" of their belongings quite quickly. Hundreds of dollars wasted on a phone that in the next 2 months will be forgotten about. All because the NEW phone has the appeal the old phone had just a short time ago.

I also find that when I work hard to buy something I take great pride in what I have. I can justly call this object mine from the dedication I put into the work to afford the item.

It doesn't always have to be physical work, it could be to raise a grade in a class that has been troubling; or by giving up free time to help out around the house, or something to that effect.

Genevieve said...

Eloquently stated J. You're mature beyond your years. I appreciate your POV!

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